Star wars ep. 3: a better idea (than Lucas had)

Add long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

So in 2005 when episode 3 came out the whole world was wondering what would cause this cute/ handsome/ young Anakin with so much going for him to turn to the dark side and into Darth Vader? We knew from episode 2 that he had a (not so) secret and forbidden love for Padme, and we knew from the original trilogy that he had kids with her, and she didn't survive to episode 4. So there was no question of what had to be accomplished in episode 3, it was just a matter of how.

[Warning, spoiler alert]

So how's Lucas do it? (Or at least, how does it end up after the forces of Hollywood produce it?) Anakin is freed from slavery and raised for ten years by the Jedi, but then turns his back on them because he realizes his girl friend is going to die in labor? Are you KIDDING ME? This from the movie series where Darth Vader cuts off his own son's hand and a day later Luke has a fully functional prosthetic? HELLO? How many of our mothers in the 20th century had cesarean sections to deliver complicated births? I'm sorry, but I walked out of the theater opening weekend in 2005 saying "that was so stupid! What a let down." But I'm the kind of guy who likes to put his money where his mouth is, so here's my better idea.

I don't care how the writers or director want to accomplish the story flow, but here are the highlights of what _I_ would have made sure was accomplished/ revealed in episode 3.

1. Before he was senator, as part of a bribe or even premeditated assassination/ betrayal of his predecessor, Mr Palpatine has a short visit to Tatooine. There he gets distracted by a girl, has a one night stand, and rather than be dull and simply kill her, he figures out how to sell her into slavery to cover his tracks. But he's already a Sith, so he uses his skill with the Force to wipe her memory of the night. Time gets short to fulfill his real reason for being there and he forgets to check if he created an offspring. And he never bothered to learn her last name.

2. Jedi are formidable in man-to-man combat, but when they're passengers on a starship they're as vulnerable as any man. Palpatine should have found out about Anakin and Padme and manipulated/ lied to Anakin to make him think the Jedi were going to harm Padme or somehow separate them. Simultaneously he should have found a reason to get the Jedi to all go on a ship somewhere, all except Anakin. Palpatine should have attempted to kill Padme but either make it happen over time or simply half fail and only mortally wound her so she could still deliver her babies. He'd have to do it in such a way that he never got close enough to notice she was pregnant and in such a way so as to blame it on the Jedi. (Perhaps she has an 'accident' and falls, and had Anakin been there he'd have able to rescue her but he was off on some menial mission for Yoda and Palpatine made sure Anakin was thinking of Padme when she fell so he'd know about it but be just too far away to get there and he'd feel helpless like when his mother died. Then Palpatine could send Anakin in a small ship with big weapons to "hunt down and destroy the Jedi" in revenge, as Obiwan said in episode 4. By taking out their ship he'd take care of them all at once, and Obiwan and Yoda could have some embarrassing reason they weren't on the ship (unbeknownst to Anakin and Palpatine). This would be superior to the Jedi being betrayed and overcome by mundane clones.

Of course if you're familiar with the Oedepus story, you can see what a twist this plot line would cause. Think about episode 6 and Palpatine and Vader trying to kill Luke and go after Leia and Luke convincing Vader to instead kill Palpatine. Talk about a messed up family. Sadly, that's actually fairly believable in today's world.

3. Then there's the whole deal of "Master Sifodeous" creating the clone army for the Republic and conveniently dying a little later. Yoda and Windu seem familiar with him in Episode 2, if Lucas had filled the rest of us in in episode 3 on who he was and why he did such a thing then that's called suspense or a cliff hanger. But when he didn't, that's called a gaping plot whole. It would be fitting if Sifodeous was Palpatine's Jedi Master (instructor). And then there's that lame comment from Mace Windu to Yoda about the Jedi's ability to use the Force deminishing. What?? Another unexplained plot whole that my better idea is to just leave out (of episode 2), I see no way to salvage that idea.

Do you think my idea is better than what you saw in the theater? I'd like to know.

Memories from Nanjing

We started the process of adoption in January of 2012. We might have finished a year later but Christmas slowed down the USA portion and Chinese New Year slowed down the Chinese portion. In January 2013, at one point I set a countdown timer on my phone, hoping we'd travel and be back by March 1. We didn't leave before then, but coincidentally we got notified of our Consulate appointment on March 1, which was the very last thing we needed before buying airline tickets.

We had no lines in O'Hare.

It was a nice flight from Chicago to Beijing except a bumpy, quezy landing. Pickle was a great traveller. You and mommy had noise canceling headphones, daddy just used the provided ones. The plane had 9 seats across and we sat comfortably in economy plus, with one window, middle, and aisle seat. I brought a splitter so two people could listen to the same movie at once. Pickle watched Madagascar 3 with mommy then Wreck it Ralph with daddy. She played Bejeweled 2 a lot in between movies. Mommy had Finding Nemo going and fell asleep, Pickle half watched, listened, and played Bejeweled. Later after a nap mommy watched the first three of the four Pirates of the Caribbean movies and daddy watched the remake of Total Recall.

We had no lines in the Beijing airport layover either.

Smooth transition to hotel, though guide wasn't there at first and substitute showed up delayed by someone double parked and then traffic. If we weren't experienced we'd have been worried, but we're experienced. Our guide, Savor (pronounced See-va) was great, giving us recommendations and schedules.

The three of us went to the Purple Mountain Park Plumb Festival on Sunday. It was pretty, but difficult to find where we wanted to go without being able to read anything. The concierge got us a taxi and we ended up walking a slightly wrong way (west rather than north) but we asked someone where we were and found our way to Ming's Tomb. The weather was nice but colder than expected and by that time Pickle was pretty cold so we went back to the hotel. Later we had Pizza Hut for dinner. They actually had cheese and peperoni pizzas on the menu. (That's normal in the USA of course but we've been to Pizza Huts in China and Taiwan before that didn't.)

Monday morning we went to some city office and Coco and Sung had Daniel waiting for us at the front steps.

Afterwards we returned to the hotel and took a little walk. We sort of went looking for Walmart but it was farther than we wanted to walk. We got my favorite picture by the river (not that you can tell it was taken by a river). We ate lunch at McDonald's and found out you love spoons and have no interest in even the smallest pieces of french fries or chicken chunks. The rest of us ate McDonald's chicken mcnuggets for four lunches this week.

We went to a mall only one block away with an orange wall facing the street. We went for lunch (we found a McDonald's there) and to look for shoes for the boy. The orphanage had given you to us with good clothes but we figured we'd return them since we have plenty. The only shoe store we found that had kid shoes was a Crocks store. Your big sister also got a Hello Kitty pair. They were $60 each pair. Ouch, but only shoes we could find on short notice and limited mobility. Pickle was such a good traveller and big sister that we were happy to treat her, though we used up our cash on hand and I went back to the hotel to get more. We went back for dinner at Subway and the fountains were all little up. These were some of my other favorite photos from the trip.

While Savor took someone else to their orphanage far away, Nancy took us to ours on Thursday. Nancy is the same lady who helped last June. We got lots of pictures of where you spent all your time and we were happy to see what kind of food you were used to since you weren't eating much of what we offered you. You're used to an Oatmeally consistency congy/rice/veggie/meat mashup. It was also nice to meet the nanny who took care of you the most. She was very nice.

Thursday night when I sat on the couch to feed the boy his bottle I crossed my leg and he did the same :)

Friday night we flew to Guangzhou and had a half hour drive to the hotel. Many of the buildings were covered in lights. I wonder if it's like how corporations in the USA have lots of land but that's impossible (impractical) in China so they deck out their buildings instead. Just a guess.

Are you sure you're American?

A friend at work asked me this at the end of lunch on Friday. She's a Muslim girl who I've had the privilege of eating and talking with a few times over the last half year or so. We work in the same building. We disagree on a few things, but that doesn't limit our ability to be friends (in a cursory sense). For example, months ago, Israel came up, and she said she suspected she disagreed with me so strongly that we better not discuss it, so we skipped that topic. Just this last Friday she said she'd gone home to the Middle East over the Christmas holiday (since our company gives us a whole week off thanks to the union and old-school-Midwest influences). She said that, while there, she had met with an old friend and debated her heavily against the merits of homeschooling.

Her reasons were standard. She didn't use the word specifically, but I told her that her arguments are typically summed up in my experience by one word: socialization. I explained my wife and my reasons for homeschooling our kids (perhaps that'll make a good, separate, post sometime) and by the time I was done I had convinced her that the world is a very different place than when we grew up and homeschooling is a good idea. When I explained all of our reasons, she was so surprised how much she agreed with me that was when she asked "are you sure you're an American?"  I took that as a great compliment, and she confirmed that was how she meant it.  I guess she's only heard about the stupid things Americans say and do (and from her perspective, she probably has reason to associate American stupidity and Christian stupidity together) and I hate to admit, but there are a lot of stupid things we all do.

That goes both ways though. Most Americans think everyone in the Middle East is a friend of what we call terrorists (or worse, they may actually be a terrorist), but that's just an erroneous assumption. See this article from a Saudi journalist.  We all have a lot of learning to do, and I hope in the moment we can remember to give each other grace.